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Kate Henchy's UIFI 2013 Experience

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 00:00:00 -0500

Vice President/Membership and Eve Woods Riley Scholarship recipient, Kate Henchy, Alpha (pictured far left with her UIFI chapter), shares with us her experience at the Undergraduate Interfraternity Institute® (UIFI®). Each year, The Center for Living, Learning and Leading grants a select few members a scholarship to attend UIFI for a week of leadership development and integration among Fraternity and Sorority members across the country. Kate was one of over twenty applicants to receive our scholarship this year. Here is her own personal account of how attending UIFI has inspired her in her leadership as a Tri Delta and as a member of the Panhellenic council at Boston University.

"These letters don't make me better than you, these letters make me better than I used to be." - Unknown Author

The men and women that I have met at UIFI2013 have inspired me to reach for greatness, to create a legacy and do my best to live up to the values of a Tri Delta woman. While every experience during the week was incredibly meaningful there are a few that particularly stick out to me.

The first was sharing crucible moments with the rest of my chapter group. It was the first day in Indiana and after a few hours of team building and problem solving activities we were prompted to think about the times in our life that have made us the person we are today. After we spent some time reflecting on these moments on our own, we were encouraged to share them with the group. At first the thought was terrifying, to share of my most vulnerable moments with 10 individuals that I had just met a few hours prior. But then I took a moment to realize, each other person sitting in that room with me were there for the same reason: to grow and become a better member of their Greek organization. Opening up and sharing those critical moments was one of the most rewarding experiences of my time at UIFI because it instantly brought us closer to one another.

The second moment that stands out in my mind was the second evening of UIFI. We spent about an hour going around the room and listening to each other recite our purposes, creeds and values. To be able to stand up and recite the purpose of Delta Delta Delta to a room full of my fellow Greeks and be received with snaps and applause was a proud moment for me. To be able to hear the guiding values of the other organizations made me realize that although we wear different letters, we are all values based organizations that have been created to better our communities. No matter the letters, we're all Greek together.

The third moment that stands out to me was my one on one consultation with a Greek advisor from another organization. Spending half an hour talking to him about my experiences and specific chapter issues enabled me to really explore what the real problems were and where they originated. I couldn't expect my chapter to live by the values of Tri Delta until we really learned and explored what they meant to each of us. Until that week, I had never really felt prompted to think about the deeper meaning of the Tri Delta purpose and values and how I could represent those in my day-to-day life. How could I expect it from my chapter if they didn't learn it? How could they learn it if nobody ever taught them to think about the deeper meaning? Finally, how could I teach it until I began to live it myself?

Receiving my pin and certificate for the Iota Omicron class was one of the most proud moments of my collegiate experience. To me that pin means more than just finishing a week of camp, it represents a promise, to live up to my values. It represents the dedication that I have for change. It represents the faith and trust that the Tri Delta Foundation placed in me to represent our organization. It represents a renewal of my oath to Tri Delta. Finally it represents persistence and courage to stand up for what is right, what is just and what it means to be a Tri Delta woman.

Lexi Foster Shares her UIFI Experience

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 00:00:00 -0500

When I applied for the Eve Woods Riley Scholarship through Tri Delta, I really didn't know much about UIFI at all. No one I know has ever gone before and it's not really talked about much at LMU. I was really excited when I heard from Natalie that I was a recipient of the scholarship, and then proceeded to look even further into UIFI and exactly what I was about to take part in. Our Greek Life advisor was once a facilitator at UIFI and a on-campus advisor, a fellow Tri Delta, continually expressed what a life-changing experience UIFI was. Little did I know how right they were.

UIFI was completely life-changing, eye-opening, and like nothing I ever expected. I met some of the greatest and most inspiring people and was challenged to think in ways I never had before. UIFI made a community out of about 80 college students, all part of different organizations. UIFI stressed living our Values and Ritual, which is now clear, that many of our chapters have lost sight of this Purpose. I am lucky to be able to say that Epsilon Zeta at LMU is a lot better off than many chapters I heard about, but we are no where near the best or done growing and developing. As I had addressed in my UIFI application, our LMU Greek Community is not quite the community we lead on. My experiences at UIFI, through the education and the people I met, have taught ways to start the necessary conversations and make the appropriate steps forward.

Lexi Foster, Loyola Marymount University

2012 Eve Woods Riley Scholarship Recipient

Stand for Something or Fall for Anything

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 00:00:00 -0500

"Nothing strengthens the judgment and quickens the conscience like individual responsibility. "
-Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Elizabeth Cady Stanton, remains in our American history, one of the greatest and most prominent figures of the women's rights and suffrage movements. She was passionate, believed in a cause, and rallied those around her to join her in the fight for among other things, the woman's right to vote. For most of her adult life, she organized conventions, gave speeches, authored books and fought for what she believed in. She died in 1902, 18 years before the 19^th Amendment to the United States Constitution was passed, prohibiting any U.S. citizen denial from the right to vote based on sex.

To put this in perspective, as an organization, Tri Delta was 32 years old when the 19^th Amendment was passed giving women the right to vote. There were 61 collegiate chapters.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton fought for what she believed was right. She, along with so many other integral women during that time, paved the way for all of us to be familiar with the issues affecting our country, to know what we believe in, to look out for what we feel is the good of the whole and to play an active part in the future of our country. Many of us have never known not being able to vote when you turn 18. Many of us probably take that right for granted.

How often do you stop to appreciate your ability to vote? How familiar are you with the issues of this presidential election? How prepared are you to exercise your right to vote? With the obligatory campaign ads, mudslinging, celebrity endorsements, conventions, Facebook status rants, bumper stickers and speeches, it can be easy to be overwhelmed with the presidential race. It can be easy to become disengaged with the campaign. It can be easy to just not care.

It can be just as easy to be swayed by friends or commercials, convinced by politicians or debates. During any time of election, it's important to realize that if you don't stand for something...you can just as easily fall for anything. So we challenge you to get involved. Know the issues. Just in case you aren't sure where to start, here's just a few of the top issues that are important in this presidential election:

Abortion
Economy which includes the National debt ceiling and student loans
Environment
Healthcare
Foreign Policy

Aren't completely sure where to even start? How about www.procon.org an "independent, nonpartisan, 501(c)(3) nonprofit public charity" that helps educate on the issues. Not sure how you even feel about any of the issues? Or check out this great website www.isidewith.com. Through a series of unbiased questions, this site helps identify the candidates that support your particular stance on the various issues.

Determine how you feel about each of this year's presidential candidate based on how they plan to tackle the issues that are important to you...are important to our country. And then on November 6, 2012, stand up for what you believe in. Exercise your right to vote, a privilege that many of you have never not known, a privilege that Elizabeth Cady Stanton stood tall for and never experienced.

Academic Excellence

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Academic excellence is a very unique and personal part of an individual's life, especially during college when so many other personal experiences are taking place. The commitment that members of a sorority make to achieve a certain academic standing or status is unique as well.

Sometimes understanding this can be a challenge. When joining Tri Delta, you quickly learn that you have now become a part of a sisterhood, something bigger than yourself. Sisterhood is not something easily measured, it is not quantifiable and it looks different to everyone. But something that does set a sisterhood apart from any other type of relationship is accountability.

By joining and maintaining sorority membership, you have agreed to be accountable for yourself- your behavior, the situations you allow yourself to be in, your financial commitment and finally, your academic achievement as a student and as member. For some this can be an adjustment. We are talking about a group of women all on a different academic paths, all with different academic struggles, study techniques, and personal academic goals. Therefore when holding one another accountable for achieving academic excellence, we must be sensitive to the fact that that looks a little different for everyone.

Yes, Tri Delta wants all members to achieve a minimum grade point average.
Yes, Tri Delta wants all members to make academics a priority.
Yes, Tri Delta wants all members to support one another through academic commitments.

But as a chapter and as a Fraternity as a whole, we must recognize that this will vary from member to member and chapter to chapter. No one knows your members better than you do, so Tri Delta wants every chapter to feel compelled and empowered to support its members academically in a way that will fit your members best. We know that this means that they type of academic assistance one member needs may not work for another. It may also mean that some members may be resistant to discussing their academic struggles with her sisters, while others will seek ample support and assistance.

The one consistency with academics in Tri Delta is that by joining, every member has agreed that her academic achievements no longer solely affect her as an individual, but contributes to the chapter's greater academic success. Every individual is equally accountable for this knowledge about this commitment should be a part of chapter life.

As leaders, it is our responsibility to make academic excellence a part of chapter culture. Challenge members that joke about skipping class or failing a test. Work with members that struggle and implement member discipline for failure to meet academic commitments in a way that will compliment your member's needs. Be available to confidentially speak to a member with academic concerns and don't hesitate to call a sister out if she is slacking on her studies. And finally, remember to carry sensitivity that every situation can be different.

What can your chapter do today to change the culture of academics among the members? How can you work to make members better aware of the academic accountability in Tri Delta?

An FC's Perspective

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 00:00:00 -0500

On one of my first visits as Tri Delta Field Consultant, I had a very memorable, candid conversation with a chapter member that still resonates with me today. When talking about the biggest lesson that Tri Delta teaches our members, in a very matter-of-fact manner she said, "Well, I don't think it is an accident that 'delta' (D) means 'change' in math." I paused, a little caught off guard (also trying to channel my freshman algebra class curriculum). Then as we spoke further, it was clear that she meant that just like all things in life, our Tri Delta membership is always changing and evolving, and sometimes this change may need a little T.L.C.

I carried that lesson with me through my travels (and quoted her a lot), constantly noting the change Tri Delta is making through continuing to be the progressive organization that we are proud to be. However, along with this chance to recognize how far Tri Delta has come, I was also offered opportunities to see where we could use some updating and change as well. I will be honest when I say that sometimes I ran into some frustrating situations, hoping for the perfect officer resource to be on Deltas Only, a program to help our students with healthy confrontation or even simply the perfect icebreaker to open my chapter wrap-up.

After spending a year recognizing the need to continue this change and progression in our organization, from the practices in place, to the programs we provide, joining The Center staff was an overwhelming breath of fresh air. The first question someone asked me upon my endeavors as the Chapter Resources Coordinator for The Center was, "What do we need to provide for our collegiate members, and what needs to change in order to do this?" Now two years later, I am very proud of the resources we have been able to provide, and I often find myself saying, "I wish I would have had this resource or chapter activity up my sleeve during that FC year." I am proud of The Center's work that allows Tri Delta to continue to offer relevant and unique programs. I am also proud of the topics we are willing to talk about and our priority to stay attentive to the current trending needs of our members. I truly believe that the FC experience is one of a kind and completely credit those lessons on the road to my ever-growing appreciation for the work of The Center. There is nothing better than hearing a member speak about a compelling experience during an education track at Convention or using our tools to conduct a stellar chapter retreat. I remember similar "ah ha" moments on the road, and it is a pleasure to continue to contribute as a staff member for The Center in this way.

As The Center continues to grow as a foundation committed to educational resources and leadership development, we hope to continue to generate support from former Field Consultants who can relate first hand to our goals and initiatives.

Stressing Over Stress

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Stress...

Among other definitions, stress is the physical pressure, the pull, or force exerted on one thing by another. It's also defined as a specific response by the body to a physical, mental, or emotional tension.

So think about this for a moment. If stress is the physical pressure exerted on one thing by another, then you, your body, your psyche can be what is ultimately being pushed around!

Stress is an inevitable part of life and can be brought on by a variety of different things, but it doesn't have to get the best of you if when know how to manage it.

Think about it.

Being a part of a student organization as a whole has plenty of demands on members.

Sometimes the friends we have or the drama that comes with certain relationships can add pressure and stress. Add to that the assignments, projects, classes, tests that are a regular part of our schedule...and what about all the other aspects of college life and university involvement that can keep us busy like Homecoming, athletics, campus organizations or Greek Week? For some of us, we may feel as if our planner is always being added to or that there just aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done...for some of us there are jobs, community involvement, issues going on at home or in your personal life or facets of your dating life or existing relationship that add additional pressure, anxiety or stress.

Did any of this sound familiar to you?

Clearly, as a student, as an active member in a student organization, or as a person, there are so many things that could easily stress you out.

So stop for a minute.

Take a moment and identify some things going on in your life, that make you feel stressed out or anxious.

It is impossible to prevent stressors completely. Therefore what's more important than trying to avoid stress all together is to learn the best ways to manage the stress that will inevitably come in and out of your life.

Stress isn't just something that happens to us. It's also about how we react to it.

Your body treats all of the multiple demands that you face as a busy college student as minor threats.

Every day stressors are a fact of life but how we react and handle these situations is a choice. Just as everyone can become stressed over different things, everyone also reacts to stress differently. One way to begin effectively managing your personal stress is to start by learning the typical ways you react to it.

Think about a recent stressful experience. Take yourself back to those moments. How did you react?

Did you feel any kind of physical pain? Some people will carry their stress in physical symptoms like muscle tension, headaches, upset stomach, shortness of breath or maybe back pain.

Some people may experience a change in their diet. Stress may cause them to over or under eat. They may eat things that typically they wouldn't and they may even find both comfort and control in what foods they are consuming since they may not be able to find the same result in their stress.

Some people may experience anger when they are under intense stress. They may argue with friends or loved ones or may come across as being mad or upset.

Others are more emotional. They can feel lonely or sad. They may just feel so overwhelmed with the various stressors in their life that the only release they have is to cry.

Some may feel restless when they are stressed out. This can mean losing sleep, unable to sit still and focus on something. Maybe they are getting bored more easily and will move quickly from one thing to the next in a constant state of business.

Some individuals may start anticipating the worst to happen or may start only focusing on the negative aspects of what is going on in their life. They may feel so overwhelmed that the positive aspects of the situation don't even seem like an option.

And still for some, they may turn to excessive smoking or drinking to temporarily feel as if they are handling the stress.

So take another moment to jot some notes down. What does your behavior look like when you are under stress?

Now that we have had a chance to take into account how we react to certain stressful situations let's begin to think how we can alter and or transform our reactions positively.

As we have mentioned, it is impossible to prevent stressors completely. It becomes important, then, to learn the best ways to manage the stress that will inevitably fluctuate in and out of your life.

Here are a few ways to try...

Limit your obligations-Take a close look at your schedule and really evaluate any tasks including activities, dinners, meetings or assignments that you can cut back on, delegate elsewhere, combine or postpone. Know that only agreeing to the fun/less stressful offers and putting off tasks that you may be trying to avoid will only postpone the inevitable.
Say NO-Let your friends and family know that you are stressed out and that you just can't commit to everyone or everything. They will understand! They've been there before!
Prepare-Plan ahead and set realistic goals for the tasks you need to complete. For example, don't set a goal to stay up all night to finish a project...it's unrealistic and may stress you out even further when you can't go out with friends or go to bed! Make to-do lists. Take note of all of your commitments so that you can visually see what needs to be done in order to feel relief. And then take pride in accomplishing something from your list!
Take up a hobby-Take the time to participate in something that you find relaxing or enjoyable that is just for you. Maybe you like to read, workout, draw or scrapbook. It's so important to take even 30 minutes of your day to try and incorporate something you love doing. It will calm you down and help you feel a bit rejuvenated. Don't just take time for these hobbies...make time for these.
Relax-Calm down. Take a deep breath...and relax. Some great forms of relaxation that you could probably take advantage of on campus is a yoga or pilates exercise class. It's important to slow down. Relaxation is very calming and can increase your awareness of how stress may be impacting your body.
Think positive-Approach a task or activity that you are dreading with a more positive attitude. Rather than focusing on all of the reasons why you don't want to do the task, focus on all of the positive results you will feel from finishing it. Check yourself. Rather than jumping to the negative, try and embrace the reward of getting it done.
Cultivate happiness-Make sure you find time to identify what it is that makes you happy and enjoy doing those things. Take a nap, spend time with friends or just listen to music, but make sure you find "you time" and what it takes to make you happy. This looks different for everyone and can recharge your batteries to do some of the more daunting items on your "to-do" list. Or use these things as rewards to partake in when you've completed a task that you have maybe been putting off.
Journal-Express yourself with words. Write down your thoughts and confidently get out of your head what may be bothering you or holding you back from focusing on you. Self expression can be a great way to relieve tension, whether mental or physical.

Think back to that stressful time that you identified earlier.

What are some things you can personally commit to changing about the way you react to stress in the future?

When dealing with stressful situations, it is important to remember that creative problem solving is an effective and powerful tool. Problem solving skills have the ability to make life more manageable.

Senior Send-Off

Wed, 01 May 2013 00:00:00 -0500

"To the world, you may be one person; but to one person, you may be the world."

Ah, the good ol' inspirational quote. They seem to surface quite a bit around graduation time, don't they? They can fill your spirit with hope, and fuel you with anticipation for your bright future. But along with the commencement speaker and campus graduation ceremony comes yet another celebration marking the end of your undergraduate years - at least for Tri Deltas, anyway. At this time, you will complete your collegiate term as a member of Tri Delta and participate in Circle Degree. You'll be surrounded by alumnae and sisters who will share the great things that they expect of you moving forward, who will express gratitude for what you've meant to them in the collegiate chapter and who will wish you luck as you close one chapter of your life and start a new one.

The ceremony will be short and sweet. Your emotions may be all over the place. You may swell with pride and you may sense a slight tinge of relief paired with a feeling of loss. Similar to the transition from high school to college, you might not be ready to give up the life you established, the friends you made and for some, the credibility you worked so hard to attain. Needless to say, leaving your collegiate and Tri Delta stomping grounds behind to embark on the rest of your life's journey will be a bittersweet experience.

Before you realize it or may even be ready for it, you're on a non-stop trip to reality. The nostalgia wears off. You may feel small, lost or even overwhelmed by life in the real world. By this time, you may already have your 9-to-5 job that exhausts you, day in and day out. You may have your bearings in the online world of job hunting, social-networking your tail off in hopes that someone will need the qualities you think you have to offer. You may be interviewing at company after company, speed dating style, hoping each one leads to something more. You start to realize that this is stressful. There may be a moment when all you want is to go back to your support group, back to your sisters so that when they ask, "So how's grown-up life?" you can say, "Don't ever graduate, enjoy it now".

Listen carefully (or read, whatever): do NOT despair, sister. You gave your time, your creativity, your dues and your love to Tri Delta and her members. You invested in her, and she invested in you, whether you wanted her to or not. Now is the time for you to collect on that investment, if you haven't already. Think about what Tri Delta has given to you, which looks different for everybody. The whole Tri Delta experience is about growth and development. You are a strong and capable woman. You are a mentor, a leader, a scholar, a role model, a sister, a loyal friend and so much more. Though many of those things are not measured accomplishments like a "magna cum laude" on your diploma or resumé, they are worthy and valuable qualities. Tri Delta can fit different needs at different times in your life. While you may be finished with the weekly chapter meetings, fines or points systems, allow Tri Delta to still be there for you in your transition. Stay in touch with the Fraternity by becoming Life Loyal, joining our LinkedIn group for networking opportunities, consider finding an alumnae chapter in your area or look into volunteering. Starting this new chapter in your life can be difficult for some, humbling for others and sometimes even a little overwhelming.

Empower yourself. Whether you're at a new job, at an interview, behind a computer screen typing your cover letter or in a new city trying to find your way; remember your accomplishments, the people who have meant the most to you in Tri Delta and those who you mean a lot to as well. No matter what you mean to the rest of the big world in this new chapter of your life, you mean the world to those who have been beside you along the way.